Thankfully, Gary D. was available on short notice to visit Dr. Polin with me. Dr. Polin is a kind, thoughtful and brilliant neurosurgeon. He apologized for calling me in so quickly, because he could tell that I was basically barely breathing (it took Mariah 4 times to get a blood pressure reading that was low enough that she was okay with Dr. Polin seeing on my chart, apparently he was concerned that she had called me in so quickly as well and they were both knowing that they'd have an uptight Lasky on their hands)....
Dr. Polin explained that the sliver that wasn't able to be removed in 2009 was growing and he was concerned. We got to see all the fancy MRI pictures from that morning. Long story short, I was going to be getting another noodlesurgery...there were a lot of details....
Gary D. took me home and we sat and I had to ask him if that had really happened, and he said yes it had, and also he was good about just sitting there with me while I felt in another dimension, I really didn't want to tell my parents or anyone else who cares about me because this kind of stuff isn't good news. I found a place of acceptance for some moments, it was amazing to be there and I'm glad that it happened because even short moments when the sun breaks out are pretty sweet if you take a moment to notice them.
Here's the email I sent to some folks, notice how long it took me to finally have the guts to tell people:
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Hey ya'll,
Want to let you know that I'm gearing up to have another noodlesurgery on March 17th, with the goal to fully remove the tumor in my brain, my right temporal lobe to be specific. I had my yearly MRI on January 28th. My first surgery 2 years ago did not remove the whole tumor, and my neurosurgeon wants to have another go at it. The remaining mass isn't going wild, but it is clearly progressing and from what my neuro team says is that its boundaries seem more defined so that it is best to go in again, this time with total removal, let's hope. Lotsa hope happening, put me on your prayer list or whatever else you may have for delivering positive intentions toward others pretty please.
While at first I've been fairly numb to the idea, I'm feeling positive about the plan and am going to go for it. I could have scheduled the surgery earlier, but I want to get my classroom/life in order to be able to be most ready for the recovery time. It is also possible that if the pathology comes back differently from the last time that I would go through radiation or chemo in order to (hopefully) bring this to a close. I've been really not wanting to tell many folks about this, as much as its hard for me, I know that you who love me also go through a lot through this. If you have any more questions or wonderings, please ask me and I will do my best. I have more details, but don't want to write you a novel.
Feel free to let anyone you like about my news. I have not been telegraphing things as I'm still working on digesting it and also it is very hard for me to see the concerned looks on folks' faces when I've told them in person. If you want to help, please the best would be to send me positive vibes and to stay in touch.
Want to let you know that I'm gearing up to have another noodlesurgery on March 17th, with the goal to fully remove the tumor in my brain, my right temporal lobe to be specific. I had my yearly MRI on January 28th. My first surgery 2 years ago did not remove the whole tumor, and my neurosurgeon wants to have another go at it. The remaining mass isn't going wild, but it is clearly progressing and from what my neuro team says is that its boundaries seem more defined so that it is best to go in again, this time with total removal, let's hope. Lotsa hope happening, put me on your prayer list or whatever else you may have for delivering positive intentions toward others pretty please.
While at first I've been fairly numb to the idea, I'm feeling positive about the plan and am going to go for it. I could have scheduled the surgery earlier, but I want to get my classroom/life in order to be able to be most ready for the recovery time. It is also possible that if the pathology comes back differently from the last time that I would go through radiation or chemo in order to (hopefully) bring this to a close. I've been really not wanting to tell many folks about this, as much as its hard for me, I know that you who love me also go through a lot through this. If you have any more questions or wonderings, please ask me and I will do my best. I have more details, but don't want to write you a novel.
Feel free to let anyone you like about my news. I have not been telegraphing things as I'm still working on digesting it and also it is very hard for me to see the concerned looks on folks' faces when I've told them in person. If you want to help, please the best would be to send me positive vibes and to stay in touch.
I hope that you are all doing well!
xoxox,
Sara L.
xoxox,
Sara L.
1 comment:
Hi Sara, I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a very courageous person and I know you have a lot of support. You have a great set of parents, they are truly amazing people and I know they love you SO much.
I will be following your blog, and praying for your process and healing.
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